What does courage look like at your work? Is it having a tough conversation with a boss, disciplining an employee for inappropriate behavior, or pushing back in a meeting? Anyone of these situations requires some amount of courage.

Do they happen consistently? If we are honest, probably not.

I’d be willing to bet that in your office there are still conversations waiting to happen on any one of these examples: a tough conversation with a boss, disciplining an employee for inappropriate behavior or pushing back in a meeting.

I believe they don’t happen because we conform. We are more concerned with the approval rating of others and blending in rather than taking action on what we know is right. There is some element of fear that prevents us from taking action.

“Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as ordinary courage.”
Brene Brown

I believe courageous people get scared, but they choose to ignore their feelings and take action anyway.

Courage = Taking action even though you are scared.

3 Ways To Practice Courage

1: Say “No” more often
Does this scenario sound familiar?
Your boss stops by your office, your swamped with competing priorities and you’re trying to leave early for a family function, and your boss asks “Hey, would you mind doing something for me.” Without even thinking of your ever-increasing workload or family commitments you respond. “Yeah, sure.”

How many times has this happened to you? We consistently take on too much, regret it, and yet repeat the same behavior. We have to remind ourselves that it is ok to say “no” even to our boss. Many of us think that saying “no” is the same as insubordination. If you can’t bring yourself to saying “no” at the very least ask for help prioritizing your workload.
“Yes.” I can help, and I’m also doing x, y, and z. Where should I fit that into my workload?

A boss that cares about you will put some thought into their answer or ask someone else for help.

2: Ask more questions
“I don’t want to feel stupid.” “What if she thinks I’m challenging her.” These are all the types of thoughts that prevent us from asking questions.

When I teach a one day workshop on productivity strategies and I talk about how seeking clarity is a part of the prioritization process, I give an example of how an employee will work on a project for a week or two and give it to their boss only to discover that it was not necessary or a priority. Poor communication usually has some element of fear and being courageous can be something as simple as asking more questions.

Some managers are notorious for operating with an execution mode brain, where every idea they have, they want to implement it, and you can serve as a filter by asking questions to help give their idea clarity. Twenty minutes of thinking and asking questions can prevent two weeks worth of work.

3: Have more honest conversations
Where do you get frustrated? If we are not honest in our conversations, this is typically where our frustration can live.

For example, You asked an employee to do something, and they give you half of the result you want. Do you typically have that conversation with them or let it go? Most people let it go, and they rationalize it by saying something like “It’s not that big of a deal” “I don’t want them to hate me.”

Not being honest will continuously provide a constant source of frustration.

Another example: If your spouse spends too much on the credit card. You look at it, and you’re upset. They ask you, “Is everything ok?” rather than being honest you say something like “Yeah, everything is fine.” And when you find yourself in an argument with them a month later, you bring up the credit card. And this only adds more fuel to the argument.

If we continue to hold back in our conversations, we are preventing ourselves from being authentic and having more meaningful relationships.

Practicing small moments of courage will build your muscle and over time you’ll find it easier to have a tough conversation with a boss, discipline an employee for inappropriate behavior, or push back in a meeting.

by Eric Papp

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